Thursday, September 29, 2011

Disconnected...

Well hello there!  I bet you all thought I'd died and gone to heaven right?!  Funny thing is I'm right here in good 'ol Utah.  No fluffy white paradise for me :)  Funny story though...

I had to have gallbladder removal surgery the end of August.  One week after school started no less.  It all happened very quickly so I wasn't able to update the few of you who read this :)  I went to the Dr. on a Wednesday.  He sent me for an ultrasound on Friday.  They called to say I needed to meet the surgeon on Tuesday and I had surgery that Friday.  Those of you who know me very well know that I'm pretty healthy and fit.  I guess you could say I'm gym rat and health food nut.  The surgeon and hospital staff assured me that I would bounce right back.  I was told to take a week off work and to stay out of the gym for 2 weeks or so.  Here's where the funny part happens (not really).

I had a pretty severe reaction to the anesthesia.  I have had 2 gnarly c-sections so I thought laprascopic gallbladder surgery would be a walk in the park.  The hospital had only planned on me staying for the day so they basically pushed my wheelchair out the door vomiting in a lovely little blue bag.  I was told to go home and sleep it off.  I tried to do just that but I honestly felt absolutely awful.  Worse than I'd ever felt before.  My sweet hubby got me all set up in bed and even brought me a walkie talkie in case I needed him.  About an hour later I sat straight up in bed unable to breathe.  I spent several tense moments gasping for air while Rob frantically tried calling the hospital.  This time we were told it was serious and to come back in.  The problem being they had already pushed me out once I wasn't about to go back a second time!

I eventually made it through the night and the surgeon called the next day.  He explained that more than likely my airway had collapsed due to the remaining anesthesia in my system.  For whatever reason I wasn't processing it or getting rid of it in a timely manner.  Add to that the lovely "gas" they had to inject in my abdomen that wasn't dissipating either.  Long story short it took me several weeks to get back to normal and feel like myself again.  I do still have a few minor "issues" popping up occasionally but all in all I'm back to business as usual.

When I sat down to write this post I thought long and hard about what to say.  How should I even start and is this all too personal anyway?  Well I came up with several possible titles before settling on disconnected.  Let me explain how I got here and then I'll share some of the fabulous lessons I learned after the surgery.  I could've titled the post something like "I hate the hospital" or "I ingested my body weight in jello" or even "You find out who your friends are" but disconnected is perfect for where I am right now.  I spent the last month virtually disconnected from modern technology.  And you know what...it was FABULOUS!!!  I have been back to work for a few weeks now but I haven't been here or on Facebook or really even on the internet.  I had plenty of time in bed to really sit and think and re-prioritize my life.  I read magazines and books and watched entirely too much daytime television.  I had several sweet friends who really stepped up to help with meals or taking our kids.  All of this "free time" made me realize how much we all really need those connections.  Real life connections.  Not "virtual" somewhat anonymous connections.  My family and my friends are my life's blood.  My heart and soul.  Now this isn't to say that I'm not passionate about my work.  Believe me I am.  Nothing can move me like the perfect light, in the perfect setting with the perfect subject.  I have always been and will always be deeply moved and connected to my work.  But when the chips are down and it's all said and done I don't want to end my life with regrets.  I don't want those who matter to me to ever wonder just how much I love and need them. 

How does all this relate to photography you might ask?  I am right in the thick of the busy season and I don't see it slowing down anytime soon.  And really the "work" itself is not what needs to slow down.  It's me.  I need to really stop and enjoy the process.  We only get one life, so why not enjoy the ride?!  What does this mean for you as a current or future client.  It means that I will still give you 110% when I am working.  But when I am not working I will be giving my family and friends 110%.  I won't be posting here as much or spending much time on Facebook.  I am always more than happy to post photos or share stories, so just ask.  I know we all live in a digital world and to stay in business I have to compete.  That being said I would like to think that I attract and retain some of my best client relationships by being myself.  Open and honest, no holds barred.  While I'd rather you not see me in a swimsuit, what you see is what you get. 

Facebook if you ask or if I have a few spare minutes.  I will continue to provide you with beautiful portraits and custom products with top notch customer service.  But I will remain somewhat disconnected.

Thanks for sticking by me!
Angela